Dirty Little Boy

This little boy knows how to get dirty.  He was covered head to toe in dirt.  I knew there was no turning back when I looked out the window and buckets of dirt were being dumped over his head.  He loved every minute of it.  It took MULTIPLE washings to get this little man (and his cohorts in crime) clean.  Impressive Spencer...very impressive!

(Spencey and Elle Bell)

Happy Fathers Day

Happy Father's Day

Thanks dad for always sharing your ice cream and chocolate milk.  Thanks for the wrestling.  Thanks for working hard at work for us.  Thanks for making the best car sounds.  Thanks for always sharing a bite of WHATEVER you are eating.  Thanks for the piggy back rides.  Thanks for reading books.  Thanks for teaching me how to be a Jedi.  Love you Dad!

The Girl Turned 6!!!

Today was Natali's big day.  She is officially 6!  WOW.  We had a fun packed day.  It started early with french toast and off to swim lessons.  After swim lessons we went to a friends swimming pool...unfortunately that pool was closed.  So we loaded back up and headed to ANOTHER friends pool...that pool was closed till 2 for cleaning TOO!  So we settled on a local splash pad.  (apparently I'd ruined Natali's birthday, or so I was told)  We ate lunch and played with friends while staying cool in the shade & water.  We went home, got Spency down for a nap, and I let Natali finish opening her presents.  After naps I tried to redeem myself and I took the kids back to the pool.  This time we actually got in and did some swimming.  The kids were anxious to show off her their "new" swimming skills.  We were all pretty hungry after all that swimming so we picked up Happy Meals, ate picnic style at home while watching a movie.  Followed up by cake, reading new books, and getting ready for bed.  It was a GREAT day.  Only bummer was that Ben didn't get to spend any of it with us, out the door at 6am and home at 9pm.  Happy Birthday to my sweet red headed Natali Lynn!  You made me a mom, you keep me on my toes, adn I love you!

 "Mom, I want a chocolate cake with pink frosting and a crown on top."  Sorry sweetie...that's the best I got!

 Little brothers were eager to help open presents and celebrate the special day!

Both sporting new "summer" buzzes.  Natali actually on her own accord offered to let each boy open one of her presents for her.  Sweet girl.

  New rain boots (funny since in NEVER rains here), but she LOVES them!

 We LOVE books around here.

Birthday cake, birthday cake, birthday cake!

It's a Birthday Soiree'

That's fancy for "It's a Birthday Party"...in case you didn't know everything is fancier in French.  This week little miss Natali will be turning 6.  I decided to finally throw her a little birthday party.  The theme...Fancy Nancy.  We invited just a few other little girls over from her primary class.  We made rings and added accessories to our fancy outfits.  We played "pass the parcel" (that's fancy for, pass the present). We ate and sipped punch with our pinkies up!  Painted finger nails, took pictures, and ended by making & eating parfaits.  It was perfectly, fabulously, FANCY!!!  Natali had a wonderful time so I consider it all a success.

 All our fancy guests

 The girls decorating their goody containers.

 Playing pass the parcel. (yes even Isaac got in on the fancy-ness)

Our fancy food...frilly tooth picks make everything fancy I learned!

Our Dear Mandy, 1978-2011

A sketch Mandy had recently finished and had hanging on her wall, an angel.

Friday May 20th will be remembered forever.  That morning Ben left on an early flight out to Las Vegas for a podiatry conference.  I knew it would be a long weekend apart.  That night we had the opportunity to attend the baptism of a wonderful family friend, Jared.  It was on the drive home from the church that I received the phone call.  Ben's sister Mandy had passed.  It was sudden and relatively unexpected.  From the young age of 2 she had been diagnosed with diabetes.  She suffered with arthritis as well.  For as long as I have know Mandy she has always been in pain, in one form or another. 

 I still remember the first time I met Mand.  We were both living in Provo at the time.  I had been hanging out with Ben more steadily (but not dating yet).  It was a Spring day and she needed Ben to take her to run some errands (Deseret First Bank in Orem...on State St.).  He had told me that he didn't know what to expect.  I offered her the front seat, she declined and sat in the back of the white blazer.  Later Ben told me that was a big deal :)  I remember going on a group date that fall up in SLC.  We went up to attend a devotional in the Conference Center.  It was Ben & I, Liz & Stephan, and Mandy & a boy who I can't remember now.  He was the last one we picked up.  Mandy went around the car giving introductions..."This is Liz and her boyfriend Stephan, this is Ben and his...(awkward pause...we still weren't officially boyfriend and girlfriend) Becca."  I'm sure I turned beet red!  

Mandy and I had several common threads.  We were both diabetic.  I give Mandy credit for preparing Ben to marry me.  I had always feared and wondered if someone would be accepting of my diabetes and some of the "perks" that come with it.  Random mood swings as my blood sugar plummets suddenly.  He knew about it, he was already aware.  It was actually how Ben and I first started really talking.  We were at a mutual "party" and he asked if I wanted a drink.  I declined and he teased, "it's sugar free."  At that time he had NO idea I was diabetic.  I am grateful for the exposure to diabetes Ben had.  I was touched as he told me stories about taking care of her.  This was the man I was looking for.  Thank you Mandy!

Mandy's death was sudden.  We quickly had to get Ben home from Vegas.  Saturday he flew back to Texas and Sunday morning we left for the 2 day drive to Utah.  The trip was relatively uneventful except for Isaac getting car sick while we drove through the beautiful Rocky Mountains.  At one point I was pulling t-shirts out of my bag for him to barf in.  It was a VERY helpless feeling being so far from family.  Arriving in Bountiful was such a relief...for many reasons.  We got there Monday evening.  It was therapeutic to hug and cry, to be surrounded by those we loved.

Tuesday morning Mom, Liz, Emily, Anna, and I went down to Russon's to get Mandy ready.  I was worried.  To be honest I was scared.  I sat in the corner and watched.  With all the love of a family, the girls dressed and got her ready.  It was special.  It was solemn.  And at moments...uncontrollable laughter.

That evening we had the viewing.  It started at 4 and ended at 8:30.  My feet were KILLING me.  5 hours.  It was an amazing out pouring of love.  It was special.  Very special.  I had my moments, but nothing was harder than seeing McKay come into the room.  I don't know how but he understood.  He carried his Lightening McQueen with him during the family viewing.  Right before he left, he walked to the casket and placed his McQueen inside.  The grandmas reassured him that he didn't need to do that.  But, he insisted that mommy needed his car.  It was tender.  There were a lot of tender moments.

After the viewing we had a chance to go out to eat with Spencer, Hollie, and Anna.  It was wonderful to sit, eat, and laugh together.  The laughter made life seem manageable.

Wednesday was another viewing and the services.  Again it was wonderful to hear all the special memories and thoughts people shared about Mandy.  Ben gave the family prayer and they closed the casket.  It was peaceful and devastating all at the same time.  The actual service was something never to be forgotten.  The speakers spoke of the doctrine of the church, and the peace and guidance that be there.    They spoke of the realness and closeness of angels.  How McKay and Mandy will always be together.  We sang Jesus, Lover of my Soul.  The term sing really doesn't apply.

After, we drove to the Bountiful cemetery.  Ben's older brother Spencer dedicated the grave.  It was a beautiful day.  The sun was out.  The flowers everywhere were beautiful.  There was so much family around.  It was hard, but at the same time I think we all felt peace.  I know I did.  I felt peace that she was free from all the pain and mortal trials that she faced.  Although no one can replace a mother, McKay will be extremely loved and cared for.  There is no doubt that Mandy was suppose to have him.  He is a very special little boy.

I wish it were under different circumstances, but seeing family was so good.  It had been almost two years since we had made it back to Utah.  This was a reminder of what is really important in life.  I think we all had a feeling of regret in one way or another.  I am grateful for the gospel and the knowledge that we have of the Plan of Salvation.  It might not be for a long time, but I know we will see Mandy again.  That if we keep our covenants we can all be an eternal family.

Mandy,  we love you.

Savanah, Abbie, & Callie...Tuesday at the family viewing

Ben's youngest brother Chris aka Chuck, looking sharp.

Spencer, John, and Ben.  Waiting at the cemetery as pallbearers.

McKay looking on.

Grandma & Grandpa Hayes

Sweet McKay

Father & Sons...Spencer, Dad, & Ben...one of my favorite pictures.

It was such a beautiful day.  The rain stopped that day and the sun was out.  It was perfect.  A family picture of those at the cemetery, except for Liz & clan.

Mom and Dad

One of the many, many beautiful flower arrangements that came.  They were every where. The house smelled heavenly.

She Lost Another One...

There is something so VERY cute about little kids loosing a tooth.  It's such a big deal in their little lives.  Something magical about falling asleep and finding money instead of gnarly tooth.   Natali awoke this morning to find 5 shiny dimes in her tooth fairy pillow (so happened to be the exact about of money needed to buy the ice cream at lunch that she had been begging for...win-win).  She was happy, "look at all my money's!" was what she said to be exact.  Then the tooth fairy got reprimanded for not counting in inflation and for being overly CHEAP.  Common' the kid was happy!  Let's run with it.  Either way this little face was all smiles today...especially during some after school  running through the sprinklers time.

8 years ago...

8 years ago today I got to marry this guy.  He was my best friend, my support, he made me "horse" laugh, made me feel special, unique, and beautiful.  He teased me, I harassed him, it worked.  I am grateful to have him by my side.  I love him.  Happy Anniversary.  

Mom

Happy Mother's Day

Being the mother of these three monkeys is no easy task.  But I love them with every fiber of my being.  This morning Natali walked into my room and we had the following conversation...

Natali: "mom...it's a specail day today!"

Me:  "oh ya, what is it?"

Natali:  "It's Mothers Day (without taking a breath) and aren't you going to get up and make us some special cinnamon rolls on this special day."

Yeah my kids didn't get the memo that mother's day is suppose to be a break for me, especially as I dragged Spencer out of sacrament meeting crying.  But I knew that when signed up to be a mom.  It was no longer about me!    I love these three kids.  There is no greater blessing, privillege, or reward that I have experienced than being a mother.

I don't ever remember thinking that motherhood was suppose to be easy or that I wouldn't want to run away from my kids screaming sometimes.  But I had NO idea somedays would be, well, HARD!  REALLY HARD.  I've read this quote before, but the last time I read it it really hit me hard.  I felt like it really applied to me, not just overall life...but especially this role of mother.

"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around and shouting that he has been robbed. The fact of the matter is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey...delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."  -President Hinckley

I feel blessed to be able to be a mom.  I am grateful for my mom and the wonderful women in my life who contiune to shape and influence me and my children.  I am working harder each day to enjoy the small moments, savor each peanut butter handed hug, and very sloppy kisses.  They sure can make a mess but they can make me feel very special too!  I love them.  Crazy hats and all!

Spencer and his Bebe

After this little man turned 2...and once Grandma was gone...I decided to take drastic measures.  

I took away the binky, aka "bebe".

One evening while getting ready I took his bebe in the other room and snipped off the top.  

I presented it back to him saying, "uh oh bebe broken."

Well, as you might guess he was NOT happy.

I was ready for the worse.  

I already made a game plan...let him cry.

That probably sounds mean, but he still had his favorite blanky to snuggle too.

Thankfully after 15 minutes of squawking and asking for "bebe" in the sweetest little voice imaginable he finally fell asleep.

It really hasn't been too bad.  We are on day 4 now.  Each day he asks for it less and less.  

The only thing that I am worried about still is Sunday...1:00 church...right in the middle of nap time.

This could be INTERESTING. (mental note...bring lots of snacks & bribes)

30 and Loving IT!

Last Monday I turned 30.  To be completely honest I hadn't really been looking forward to it.  I mean really...does anyone LOOK FORWARD to turning 30?  I thought about how I wouldn't be able to say I was in my 20's anymore as my older and wiser friends had already entered their 30's.  (I kinda liked that)!!!   I thought about the stigma that seemed to come with turning 30.  Plus, after 30 it's 40!!!

But as I reflected and thought about it leading up to the day of celebration I realized I had it all wrong.  Turning 30 was AMAZING.  It gave me a chance to reflect.  To think about all the things, people, places, I have done, met, and lived.   Several nights I just layed in bed thinking about my life.

I thought back to when I was 16, I had NO IDEA what was going on.   I thought back to starting college at BYU.  I thought I was so old and wise.  I thought back to making the decision to marry this blond blue eyed boy from Utah (I had sworn to NEVER marry a Utah boy).  I thought back to teaching 4th grade.  I thought back to delivering my first baby.  She ROCKED my world.  Let's be honest...she is still rocking my world.  I thought back to deciding with Ben to start Podiatry school.  Making the decision to move our small family of 3 thousands of miles away from family to live in IOWA.  When I would tell people we were moving they would say, "now WHERE is Iowa again?"  I remember being SO very scared and excited at the same time.  I thought back to having baby#2...Isaac.  Facing some of the struggles that come with student life, the ups and downs that it brings.  I thought back to discovering we were expecting baby #3.  Realizing our "perfect timing"...as Ben would be leaving a short 5 weeks later to start traveling all over the US doing rotations.  I remember watching him say goodbye to our three little babies knowing it would be weeks before he saw them again.  And then watching him pull out of the driveway and thinking to myself, "how will we ever survive this."  I thought back to discovering that we really were moving to Temple, Texas and the miracle that had occurred in our lives.  I remember sobbing for hours as we drove away from Des Moines, not certain that we would ever love a place and people more.

I thought about all the people that have entered my life.  From wonderful girlfriends growing up, BYU, Provo newly wed days, Iowa, Texas, etc.  I have been blessed to have wonderful people in my life.  People who I can't imagine not having met or known.  People who have helped and blessed me.  Friends who have shared the joy of welcoming my brand new babies home, and who have also been there as a support when I needed it.

My 30 years of life has not always been perfect, that's for sure.  As I look back though I can not help but see the blessings and wonderful opportunities that been opened in front of me.  If you would have asked me when I was 20 where did I see myself in 10 years, I am pretty sure that no stretch of my imagination would have placed me in Central Texas, 3 kids, and a husband in residency.  Isn't life amazing!

I am happy.  I am loved.  I am blessed.  I am grateful to be 30!
(thank you to all the wonderful texts, phone calls, messages, etc...I felt very special)

Spencer is 2!!!

How on earth did my BABY Spencer get to be 2?  All I do know is that it has been a joy and privillege (minus the ocassional tantrum) to be his mother.  Watching him grow, learn, and develop into his little personality has been a blessing.  Today we were able to celebrate this mini milestone in his life.  We had a day full of fun.

We started the morning off right with BALLOONS.  This boy (and his siblings) were in heaven.

We had some play time with Grandma and then we were off to preschool.  It was a nice treat for me becuase I got some alone time with my mom and we were even able to sneak off and have lunch together with out kids.

Then after naptime we blew up the bounce house and played in the backyard.  The kids thought it was AMAZING.  It was the perfect size for Spencer (yay for hand-me down toys).

Next we played with the parachute.  Another big hit!!

Finally it was time for pizza, presents, and cake.

This cute guy was trying so hard to blow...he made them flicker, but not go out all the way.  Natali and Isaac were all but happy to help!

My very basic attempt at a cake.

We finsihed the day playing outside with new toys and enjoying the gorgeous day.  It was such a GREAT day celebrating Spencer.  I am so lucky to be his mom and even more GRATEFUL that I was not in the hospital preping to deliver a 10.6 lb chunck of a baby via c-section.  Spencer, Fudgey, Pencer...I LOVE you!