Baby & Babies

{32 weeks}

This pregnancy has been intense.  All my pregnancies seem to be, but this one holds it own.  Once I found out I was pregnant the appointments started.  And by started I mean that every week I went in and saw the doctor.  At 32 weeks I was bumped to 2-3 appointments a week to do NST's and BPP's, plus a clinic appointment.  Thankfully my doctor tried to always make it as easy and convenient as possible.  He pulled me into his own clinic so I wouldn't have to the additional time of seeing residents every week.  Although it was kind of a pain at times I am so grateful for a medical team who was so invested in making this a safe and healthy pregnancy.   I had many offers to watch Spencer during the many visits but Spencer was such a champ.  As long as I packed a little snack or treat and my phone, the boy was happy and content.  The nurses made so many comments on what a good little guy he was!

I can't believe that it's finally coming to an end.  I am sitting here in my hospital bed, admitted the day before the c-section to keep blood sugars as level as possible.  Not only is this the end of this pregnancy but after a lot of thought and prayer it's the end of our babies. It's such odd feeling.  I know with my health it's the right thing.  But yet more than once I have found myself laying awake at night with tears. It's not a feeling of "should we" or regret.  It's just a very emotional decision.  I often wondered and talked with other women about how you would know when it was time to be done with this aspect of life.  I never could imagine it.  Isn't this what I always talked about and wanted as a girl.  But it came.  And just because I may not have anymore babies, I am still a mom...and I have been blessed with 4 beautiful children. 

 I am trying to desperately remember and soak in each moment (good and bad).  The body aches, the stabling moments of the baby moving inside.  The process of picking out a name and the constant what will this baby look like thoughts.  The many comments on how LARGE my stomach is and the "are you sure it's not twins" questions.  My hair not shedding and my nails growing beautifully.  The drive to the hospital when you know the next time you leave you will have a brand new baby in your arms.  The smell of the diapers and the conversations you have with your other kids trying to prepare them for what is about to happen.  All the planning and coordinating to make sure you have help, freezer meals, and all the baby clothes clean, folded, and put away.  The extreme attention given to what I am eating and how my blood sugar is.  The nerves of being prepped for the c-section....all the questions and very sterile environment of the OR.  That sound when the baby takes his first cry and the look on your husbands face.  It's all so personal, it happens so quick, and with all the drugs and morphine it seems so fuzzy and hard to remember.  I feel so desperate to remember it all.  

I am so glad my mom could come out and help us.  It has been such a relief and the kids have been so excited.  I can't believe tomorrow baby William and I will part ways and officially become 2!  I am ready...and based on how cramped he is I bet the feeling is mutual.   Ben reminded me last night how much more quiet the baby is inside of me...no diapers, or feedings, or crying.  I reminded him that HE wasn't the one carrying the 10lb human INSIDE of them!  At our last ultra sound they did a weight estimate on the baby.  They said 8.9lbs +/- a lb.  Based on the other boys I am just hoping for under 11lbs.  But who knows....maybe this guys could be the runt of the liter.  At 9.9, 10.9, & 10.6 he has some stiff competition.

 {34 weeks}

 {35 weeks}

{37 weeks...today}