Welcom to the "real" show

Two nights ago was one of those built up cry sessions.  Not a pretty cry...above and beyond ugly cry.  It was the kind of cry you muffle with a pillow so none of the neighbors call 911.  Yep it was THAT special.  It wasn't any one thing in particular just lots of built up things...

• I totally feel verbally and physically abused by my children. (coming and pounding your fists into my stomach, bottom, or thigh, does NOT feel good...no matter how big of a smile you give me while you do it)

• Dinner does NOT M.A.G.I.C.A.L.L.Y. appear  on the table at 5:30
• ...in that case...nor does the laundry MAGICALLY get washed, folded, and put away
• or the sink full of dishes that MAGICALLY disappear each day...etc, etc.
• I hate when I am doing something fun for & with my kids and I get rewarded with a major tantrum (from the kid old enough to know better) out in public
• When they come home from school and instantly want to know what "FUN" thing we are doing and the immediate complaint that the after school snack is lame and they want candy (seriously I just need to throw all leftover candy away...that will take care of it)
• NO I do NOT like the squeaker toy literally in my face being squeezed over and over 
• Or the fact that I feel like I couldn't maintain a intellectual conversation unless it was about Vampires, coupons, diapers, potty training, Team Umizoomi, or The Biggest Loser.  Let alone formulate a grammatically correct sentence (goodbye higher education)

Anyway I could make my list go on and on.  But the truth is I know that some of this is just the terriorty of raising kids and being a mom.  It's life.  I feel under appreciated.  I feel like I live in an endless state of Ground Hogs day.

I was telling a friend though that I feel frustrated when I feel this way.  I have a lot to be grateful for...I get to stay at home with my kids, they are happy & healthy, we have a roof over our heads, food on the table, heat, safe cars to drive, and family that love us, to name a few.  But despite that some days are still really hard.    It helps me to vocalize this.  To realize that despite what my husband my think I am NORMAL (or whatever that is).    This is part of it, the good & bad.  And although I feel this way at times, I still love my family and want to keep being their mom/wife (despite the occasional fantasy's of running away) :)